Before I even took the pregnancy test, I already knew that I might be pregnant. It was as if a heavy burden had been placed on my head, walking to the bus stop was a struggle. I could fall asleep anywhere - in the tube, in the bus and even in the loo! I was missing from my desk to go to the loo so often, and took 5 mins nap each time in the cubicle.
Thursday, 29th September 2011
I only took the test after I was a week late. And that was only because Hafiz bought the kit (2 kits to be exact) at Asda when he went grocery shopping! I didn't realise he had the same instinct. But we tried not to put our hopes high until after I did the test.
The first test came out positive after a few seconds, however the second line was a bit faint. I was excited but Hafiz wasn't. He kept telling me that I was imagining it because the second line didn't come out the same colour as the other line and we could barely see it.
Being me, I decided to consult the knowledgeable Mr Google. A few websites that I read - written by professionals mind you, revealed that the second line can only react to hCG, which is a type of hormone only produced by your body when you are pregnant. Even if the line is faint, there's a chance that I might be pregnant. Ditto!
Still not to be too excited, I slept on it and woke up the next day to do another test. This time the second line was a bit clearer. So I decided to set an appointment with my GP the next Tuesday as it was the only time slot available.
I haven't told you that I have a love-hate relationship with my GP. I don't think she gives me any valuable advice or service but I still needed her for referrals and her surgery is only 5 doors down from my house. That explains why I haven't changed my GP.
Obviously by Tuesday I already did the test for 5 days. So the line became faint-er (if that's even a word, but you get what I mean) and she couldn't believe that I waited that long before seeing her. She asked me to take another test and came back the next day.
I was frustrated at that point, came home crying because I felt as if she didn't believe me and didn't want to assign a midwife or refer me to an antenatal clinic. So I decided I needed to do something.
Wednesday, 5th October 2011
My office is quite close to Westminster so I decided to go to the Antenatal clinic at Guy's & St Thomas Hospital after work. They did some tests, urine and cervical checks (this is something hopefully I don't have to endure again. The nurse inserted 3 of her fingers into my V-jay-jay to check whether my cervix was fine) and found I was 5+ weeks pregnant at that time. The nurse asked me to come back the next day for a scan.
Thursday, 6th October 2011
The scan was scheduled at 12.30pm. Luckily I had a meeting at Waterloo and did not need to come back to the office after. So I headed straight to the Antenatal clinic. I was excited but also anxious to say the least. Waiting at the clinic for my name to be called seem like forever. At last I was called in close to 1.15pm. It was a transvaginal scan, so I did feel a bit uncomfortable but it only took less than 15 minutes. I was done shortly after. The technician asked me to wait outside, she did not even show me the screen but assured me that so far everything seem normal. But she also said she could not rule out ectopic pregnancy at the time. I was then advised to come back again in a week's time as only gestational sac could be seen but not the yolk sac, an indication of an early stage of pregnancy.
Friday, 14th October 2011
I came back on Friday the week after for my next scan. This time I had asked Hafiz to accompany me because I didn't think I could take bad news alone. I was called in and this time there were 2 technicians in the room. One was a trainee. I didn't mind at that point, I was just anxious. Hafiz had to wait outside. I was scared, my hands were numb and cold. But I had already told myself a few times, if it is meant to be then God willing everything should be fine. If not, take it as not yet my time.
At first the senior technician was looking almost worried but after a few minutes of examination she said, everything seem normal! I was relieved! She showed me the screen and I saw a tiny heart beating. For the first time in my life I felt a joy that I can't even described in words. The love and joy for something unknown that you couldn't feel, touch or hold at that point.
I came out from the room smiling and requested to purchase a picture. The evidence of the existence of Little H in my tummy. When I told Hafiz about the heart beat, he smiled and I knew he was glad and relieved too.
